


We Find Love

by trinitysaleen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 12:29:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15267534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinitysaleen/pseuds/trinitysaleen
Summary: We find love, we get upThen we fall down, we give uporJohnny Seo finds the possible love of his life but like always, it's more complicated than that.





	We Find Love

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda sorta based on Daniel Caesars song 'We Find Love'.
> 
> also, the italics are messed up and i'm too lazy to fix the coding so i apologize !

Johnny walks into the cafe, attracted to the fairy lights displayed outside. He didn’t know much about the place, only knowing that it appeared recently and his friend Sicheng always went for the entertainment. 

There wasn’t many cafes around that had open mics, but this one seemed to be a hotspot. 

Tonight, there was a guy wearing a burnt orange turtleneck with a guitar perched on his thigh. He sang into the mic and immediately Johnny was drawn to two things. The lyrics that came out his mouth was none other than his favorite song Get You by Daniel Caesar, and his voice was so angelic that Johnny had to check his pulse to make sure he hadn’t died and gone to heaven. 

Johnny ordered a cappuccino and sat down at a table near the back, body facing the singer. His eyes traveled to a board on the faux brick wall behind the guy, saying ‘Hi, my names Taeil! Please enjoy my singing!’ with a cute pink heart at the end. 

Johnny smiled to himself and tapped his foot along with Taeils strumming and all too soon, the song had ended and claps resounded throughout the room. Taeil thanked them and Johnny found his heart stopping at the sound of his voice. 

If Johnny enjoyed his singing, he enjoyed his talking voice even more. Taeil smiled and Johnny had missed the sound of the barista calling his name to signal that his beverage was finished. 

He snapped out of his daze, standing to get his drink and instead situating himself more towards the front at a newly empty table. He pulled his trench-coat closer to himself and leaned his head to the side, allowing Taeils voice to coax him into a more free state of mind. 

The past few weeks have been incredibly tiring for Johnny. He had class in the mornings, work from the afternoon to the beginning of the night, then extra activities he had to stay up late for. The bags under his eyes were starting to show through his makeup and it seemed like coffee couldn’t even give him energy anymore. 

All of Johnny’s friends repeatedly told him that he needed to rest in order to have more energy, but Johnny always went with the excuse that he didn’t have time to rest. 

But now, as he sat in a cafe in the middle of the city at 8 something at night, Johnny finally found himself relaxing to the sound of Taeils voice. He didn’t know how long this relaxation would last, but he would rather focus on the feeling at the moment. 

Song after song, sip after sip Johnny listened to the strumming of a guitar and a sweet but powerful voice. 

This went on for about another 20 minutes when Taeil thanked the crowd and cut off the mic. People who stayed to watch him slowly left in groups but Johnny purposefully stayed behind a little. 

He watched as Taeil packed his guitar up and took a gulp of water, running a hand through his hair. Johnny was debating if he should go praise Taeil on his talent, but pushed that thought to the back of his mind when a taller deep red haired boy walked up to the singer and pulled him into a hug, connecting their lips soon after. 

Johnny stood from his seat and threw his cup away. It wasn’t like he had a shot with Taeil or anything. Still, he felt jealous. He was too busy for a relationship anyway. 

 

Johnny found himself going back to that same cafe everyday. If it was in the morning for a drink before class, in the afternoons on his break at work, or at night when he had work to do. He didn’t see Taeil for another week, confused why he hadn’t been there but figuring out that there were different artists everyday. Johnny decided to ask a worker, and she replied with “Ah, yes. The artists are different everyday besides Thursdays when Taeil comes in. Everyone loves him so much that he has a set day and we started paying him for the entertainment.”. 

So, every Thursday after work Johnny went into that cafe, sat at a table he quickly made his and ‘worked’. When really he couldn’t get much done as he kept glancing up at Taeil and smiling softly. 

Every Thursday, a boy would walk up to Taeil, pull him into a hug and plant a kiss onto his face. Sometimes, it was one about Taeils height with light brown almost blonde hair, other times it was a slim boy with light grey hair and a perfect smile, but usually it was the tall boy with the red hair and black roots. No matter the boy, Johnny always felt a clench in his heart. 

That went on for almost two months. 

It was a usual Thursday now. Snow falling outside, Christmas just around the corner, that Winter jitter in everyone’s bones. Especially Johnny’s.

His last class before break was today and he had the entire week off. That meant he was actually getting rest like a normal human being. 

Within the past few weeks, Johnny had made a new friend at the cafe. It was one of the boys that hugged Taeil after his performances, the one with grey hair. His name was Ten and he was actually really sweet. And observant. 

After about 2 minutes of knowing Johnny, he figured out that Johnny had the slightest crush on Taeil and proceeded to tell him a lot about the elder. He told him that Taeil was dating Taeyong (the taller red haired one) but was in an open relationship which explained why he was so openly affectionate. 

Ten and Johnny started sitting at the cafe together, which prompted Taeil to start noticing Johnny a little. 

(“I see some familiar faces,” Taeil had spoken one night, looking directly at Johnny and smiling. Johnny smiled wider, ducking his head to hide his reddening cheeks. He was acting like a little school girl at the moment, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care because Taeil noticed him.) 

Today was a little different though. 

Taeil sung his songs, sung a new original that Johnny fell in love with, talked to the crowd a little and finished the show. Except, no guy came up to talk to Taeil afterwards. 

Johnny was confused for a few, knowing that Ten was gone to Thailand to visit his family but he hadn’t know when there other two guys were. He’s never even spoken to them before but still. 

Without thinking, Johnny stand up and grabs his half full cup of coffee. He walks over to Taeil, waving as he looks up from his guitar case. 

“Johnny, hey.” The two were introduced before by Ten, but Johnny hadn’t expected for Taeil to remember his name. 

“Hi. I–um. I just wanna tell you that the show was amazing as usual. And that original you debuted today was especially beautiful.” Taeil smiles the most genuine smile Johnny has seen in a while and thanks him, smile staying faintly. 

“Thank you, Johnny. That means a lot.” Taeil pulls the guitar case into his hand and puts the strap over his body. “This is really random but my friends are all busy with family things and my family is on vacation Christmas so do you wanna, i don’t know. Maybe hangout or something.” 

 

Okay. Maybe when Johnny walked into the cafe that first Thursday he did die. Because this is impossible. Taeil, asking him to hangout? Is this a prank show? Have talk-shows taken this turn lately? That’s the only practical explanation. 

Johnny blinks a couple times and when reality doesn’t fade, he comes to the conclusion that this is real. So he nods cheerfully and pulls his phone out of his pocket. 

“Of course. I–um–let me give you my number.” 

They exchange numbers and walk out the door together, parting ways to go to separate cars. 

That night, Johnny excitedly texts Ten about what had happened today and goes to sleep happily, not awakening until 2 that afternoon. 

 

He checks his phone, seeing a happy and friendly text from Ten and another from Taeil. The singer had asked Johnny if he was free later that afternoon for a movie day, and Johnny replied affirmatively, asking if they were going to spend the day at his apartment or Taeils. 

Within 5 minutes, Taeil replied to come to his apartment and sent an address as well as a request to get some snacks. 

Usually, Johnny was careful with his money. He only spent it when needed and was good on saving. But when a cute boy was asking for Johnny to get snacks, he couldn’t deny. 

Johnny tells Taeil that he should be over within the next hour and hops in the shower. He puts on a white turtleneck, green sweatshirt and dark jeans with a pair of random white sneakers he didn’t know he owned. Johnny figures the outfit isn’t too casual but chill enough to spend a day at a friends house who is also your crush, so he grabs his wallet and his keys and heads to the grocery store. 

 

Johnny had absolutely no idea what Taeil liked so he settled with the basics. Popcorn, ice cream, sodas, chocolate snacks, pretzels, more popcorn but a different brand, pop tarts, oreos, Chips Ahoy soft cookies and two huge bags of Hershey Kisses. 

Johnny also didn’t know where he was driving to go to Taeils apartment. He didn’t recognize the area so he was relying on his GPS that wasn’t that much help. From his surroundings, it was a higher class area. 

The buildings were all extremely nice on the outside. They weren’t necessarily like the ones in the city, in the sense that they were classier. He assumed he was Uptown now. 

Johnny parks his car in the parking garage and walks to the elevator with the bags in hand. “10th floor.” Johnny mumbles to himself, remembering the text Taeil had sent. Once he stopped at the 10th floor, he walks down the hallway until he stops at the black door with ‘1011’ stamped on it in gold numbers. 

He rings the doorbell and observes the hallway that screamed prestige. 

The door opens and there stands Taeil with his usual perfect smile placed on his face, looking more inviting than usual. 

He wears an extra large sweater that goes to about mid thigh, pants that look to be legging material under the item. 

“You could’ve asked me to get some bags.” Taeil starts, taking half the brown paper bags from Johnny’s arms. He, in all honest was confused on how Johnny hadn’t dropped anything on the way up and why the bags were in perfect tact. “And I made lunch.” 

Johnny follows Taeil in, eyes widening at how nice the apartment was. Johnny didn’t know that Taeil had this much money. 

They walk to the kitchen and Johnny carefully sets the bags down onto the granite tops, sighing as the smell of pasta filled his nostrils. He looks over at the stove and sees a large pot of pasta, two smaller pots with one cheese sauce and another tomato based sauce, and a pan with bread. 

Even the food Taeil made looked expensive. 

“I could carry it. Wasn’t that bad.” Johnny argues as he starts getting the foods out the bag, smiling when Taeil reacted positively to each item. “Is this your place?” 

The question seemed obvious but it could’ve been Taeils parents, or sisters or friends. And after Johnny said it, he realized how weird and sorta creepy the question was. 

Taeil hummed and shrugged, opening the pack of Oreos and popping one into his mouth. “My boyfriends. You’ve probably seen him. Red hair, kinda tall and kinda lanky. His names Taeyong.” Johnny nods and gets tense in his face, making his jawline pop accidentally. 

“Anyway. Let’s not talk about him. We’re gonna go see The Incredibles.” Taeil smiles cutely, turning around to face the stove. He grabbed two plates and started putting food onto them. 

“Wait. So we’re going to the movies?” Johnny questioned, getting a nod in response. “Then why did you ask me to buy snacks?” 

Taeil pauses for a few seconds, not answering for a while. He turned around briefly to grab a fork. “Because, after we see the movie we’re coming back here and spending the rest of the day together.”

He said it so casually and it was a casual thing. To most people. But Johnny’s heart was beating fast now. He was going to spend the entire day with his crush. The talented Taeil who sung at a cafe (whose name Johnny still didn’t know) and touched everyone with his voice. The Taeil who had a boyfriend and this was his place. The Taeil who invited another guy to his boyfriends place. 

“Oh. Uh, okay.” Johnny walked over to Taeil and grabbed one of the plates, walking back over to the island and sitting down. “Did you already get the tickets?” 

Taeil nodded. So this was really happening. 

 

A couple hours later, Johnny and Taeil are sitting in a movie theatre together, sears reclined and a large popcorn sitting on Taeils lap. The movie was at the end now, last few scenes showing then the lights were slowly coming on and everyone was filling out. 

“That was so good.” Taeil commented, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth. Johnny nodded his head, reaching over and grabbing a handful of popcorn. Taeil looked over at Johnny offended and the taller just smiled innocently as he chewed on the corn based food. “Thanks for coming with me.” 

Johnny unlocked his car door and headed to the driver side. “Of course. I had nothing to do anyway.” 

They both got into the Mercedes and buckled themselves in. “I originally bought the tickets for Taeyong and I but he had to leave for business and I didn’t want to go by myself. I mean–I don’t mean it like you were a second choice or anything even though you were and–“ Johnny cuts Taeil off. 

“Hyung, it’s fine. I don’t mind being a ‘second choice’ or whatever. I’m just happy I got to see my childhood movie with you.” It sounded cheesy as fuck by Johnny was glad that he was actually comfortable around Taeil to the point where he could say such a thing. 

When he glanced over, he smiled softly to himself at the ting of pink against Taeils cheek and the tips of his ears. 

 

Johnny had added that night on his top 10 favorite nights (it wasn’t a real list. more of a mental thing he thought about when talking with friends). 

They laughed, ate until they were both bloated, watched another two movies (including a movie called Forgotten that fucked both of them up), and chatted about practically everything. 

By the time Johnny had hugged Taeil goodbye, they already discussed hanging out another day and were basically good friends. Almost like Sims where they just meet 6 Sun hours ago and are already have the green bar almost filled. 

(Johnny wished his life was like Sims. Then Taeil and him would’ve already been dating and went on a date. Wait? Was this a date? Shit, Johnny needs to be sleep. He’s thinking too much.) 

Christmas break looked something like that. Johnny spends Christmas with Taeil and they buy each other small gifs (Taeil gives Johnny a new game titled Detroit and Johnny gives Taeil a black sweater with a lace zig zagged in the back. It cost a lot but was worth it) and cook a meal that they share later that night. 

New Years is particularly special to Johnny. 

One of Taeils friends, Jaehyun, was throwing a party and invited Taeil. Obviously, he accepted and brought Johnny with him. They had a few drinks and stood in the living room of Jaehyuns apartment together, Johnny’s arm around Taeils waist and the elders head rested on the Americans chest. 

They both held red solo cups half full with beer, dazed smiles on their faces as they counted down. When they got to 5, Taeil turned towards Johnny and scanned his face. 

“4, 3, 2 …” Taeil stood on his toes and pressed his lips against Johnny’s.

“1! Happy New Year!” 

 

They hadn’t seen each other since that night when Johnny walked Taeil to his apartment and hopped in his Uber. Not necessarily because they were avoiding each other, more because they didn’t really have time. 

Taeyong came back on New Year’s day. Johnny was starting school back up a week later and had to start getting back in the school mindset. They did have lives on their own after all. 

 

“So, you and Taeil, huh?” Ten had begun, tapping his finger against his jawline and smirked. Johnny sighed and glanced up from his laptop screen, shrugging nonchalantly. 

“Me and Taeil.” 

Ten huffed. “What are you? Come on, Johnny! You guys kissed and everything.” Johnny sipped from his bottle of coke, running a hand through his brown hair before pushing his glasses up onto the top of his head. 

“And? You and Taeil kissed before yet you’re not a thing.” Ten rolled his eyes and sat back. 

The two were sat at Johnny’s dinner table, Ten watching nonsense YouTube and Johnny working on school. It’s been two weeks since New Years and the younger Thai boy was over at Johnny’s solely because he had nothing better to do besides bother the busy elder. 

“That’s different and you know it. Taeil and I fucked because i’m a hoe. You aren’t a hoe. At least, I don’t think so.” Ten eyed Johnny suspiciously. 

Johnny knew that Ten knew that they couldn’t really be a thing. Taeyong was still in the picture and even if they had an open relationship, Taeil was pretty committed to him. He talked about him often, eyes lighting up in the slightest when doing so. Pictures of the two were scattered around Taeyongs apartment and on each other’s phone (Johnny had seen that Taeyong was Taeils home screen and he had a whole folder dedicated to him). This was a pretty serious relationship so it wasn’t like Taeil was going to leave Taeyong for someone he met a month before. 

“No. I’m not a hoe… anymore. And you know that we would not be a thing. We’re just friends.” 

 

‘Friends’ don’t indulge in activities such as the ones Johnny and Taeil were participating in. 

Johnny had his hands against Taeils hips, pushing the smaller against the door of his apartment. His lips were against Taeils with great force, head tilting to the side to deepen the kiss. Taeils fingers gripped Johnny’s shirt, moving to play in Johnny’s hair. 

The younger pulled away from Taeils lips, pressing kisses along his jawline and neck. Before he even thought about marking Taeil, he pulled away from Taeil all together. 

“Should–Should we be doing this?” He panted. He knew that Taeil was in an open relationship and from his limited knowledge on the subject, it meant he had consent from his significant other to be with other people as long as he went back to Taeyong at the end of the day. Johnny wasn’t worried that Taeil wouldn’t go back to Taeyong, he always did. But he was more worried that if they did continue, Johnny wouldn’t get enough. He would crave Taeil more and more until he couldn’t help but to think about him and only him. 

And Johnny was right. 

As he thrusted into Taeil, head in the crook of his neck and breath fanning over Taeils sweat coated skin, he knew this was something he hasn’t felt before. 

Johnny’s has had great sex before. Hell, he’s had the best sex of his life a couple months ago. But this sex with Taeil wasn’t pure lust like before. It was love. True love. Johnny didn’t only love the way Taeils hole clenched around him. He also loved Taeils laugh, his smile, his honey sweet voice. He loved Taeils cooking and the fact that when he hugged Johnny he had to stand on his toes. 

With his arms wrapped around Taeils now sleeping figure, Johnny came to the conclusion. He was in love with Moon Taeil. 

Fuck. 

 

“Funny how it’s my first time at your apartment and we spent it fucking.” Taeils voice was raspy from the lack of being used as he laughed, causing the widest of smiles to spread onto Johnny’s face. 

“Is that your way of saying ‘Morning’?” Taeil turned around, still in Johnny’s arms. He shrugged, pecking Johnny on the lips before replying. 

“Eh. Sorta.” 

They sat like that for a few, Johnny’s eyes closing back after a few moments and his breath starting to even out. Although he was under the piercing gaze of Taeil, he felt comfortable and it wasn’t hard for him to find sleep again. 

“I gotta go soon. Taeyong and I have a date at 2 and i’m going to the cafe later.” 

Johnny nodded without opening his eyes, moving his arm so Taeil could stand. “I’ll be by later on probably. Might bring Ten with me.” 

Taeil started dressing himself, slipping off Johnny’s shirt that he put on after last night events. “You guys seem pretty close.” Johnny hummed. “You like him?” 

Johnny shook his head and finally opened his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows. “No. He’s basically my brother. Why?” 

Johnny had wanted to say that he liked Taeil. But he didn’t. It wasn’t the time. 

They fucked for Christ sake. Yet saying that they liked the other seemed completely inappropriate. 

“Just wondering.” Taeil moved to the body length mirror in Johnny's room and fixed his hair, smoothing out his button up shirt. The previous night, Taeil had just gotten back from a date with Taeyong that was interrupted by job encounters from the red heads end. He called up Johnny for a few drinks and laughs and well, we know how the story ends. “Anyway, i’ll see you later?” Johnny nodded and let a lazy smile find its way onto his pink lips, waving goodbye to Taeil. 

The elder didn’t leave just yet. He strutted back over to Johnny and left a lingering kiss against his lips. 

As Johnny watched Taeil leave, he felt that familiar tingling in his chest. It spread from the tip of his heart, all the way down into his toes where he wiggled them to try and get the feeling to leave. It was like… he wanted to cry. Not necessarily from stress and frustration like all of the other tears had been about in his life. But, Taeil was overwhelming him. He radiated love and no matter how hard Johnny tried ignoring that radiation, it got to him anyway and settled itself into his bones. An incurable thing. 

Johnny went to class later that morning and sat in his usual seat. 

Sicheng asked him if he ever went to that cafe, and Johnny replied “yeah” while doodling on his paper. 

“Well, what’d you think?” Sicheng took a sip from his coffee. Johnny was high positive that they weren’t allowed to have any other drink besides water in the classroom but Johnny was also highly positive that Sicheng couldn’t care less. 

“It’s nice, I guess. What’re you getting at?” Johnny lifted his head and rested his chin in the palm of his hands. His blonde best friend had a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his lips, knowing glint in his dark eyes. 

Sicheng took an extra long sip from his straw, smirk not leaving at all. Why was Johnny friends with this idiot, again?

“Taeil. You like him?” 

Johnny sighed and dropped his pencil. He should’ve figured that this was what Sicheng wanted the whole time. The boy’s always trying to play matchmaker even when no one asks. 

“You’ve been reading too much fanfiction. This isn’t one of those coffee shop AU’s where I meet Taeil and we instantly fall in love.” That was a lie on Johnnys part. Sicheng shrugged. “Do you two know each other or something?”

“Something like that. But that’s beside the point. Have y’all talked or anything?”

As Johnny was starting to respond, he heard his name coming from a stern and annoying voice. 

“Johnny, Sicheng. If this conversation seems to be so important, shouldn’t the entire class be aware?” Johnny had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes, tongue poking the corner of his mouth as he crossed his arms. 

“Well, I mean the conversation doesn’t involve the entire class, Sir.” Sicheng responded, holding his cold Starbucks cup with two hands and leaning his elbows against the table in front him. “Or else we would’ve yelled it out.” He smirked innocently, tilting his head to the side and staring Mr. Nakamoto in the eye.

Some classmates turned around and looked at them in amusement, bewilderment, annoyance. Others had their head down and a few continued working on whatever the assignment was. 

Mr. Nakamoto just sighed, shrugging and turning back to the board. 

“If you weren’t here, he would’ve busted my ass.” Johnny softly chuckled, running a hand through his already messy hair. Everyone had caught onto whatever Mr. Nakamoto and Sicheng had going on. Too many shared glances, caresses and hugs were shared to not have something happening in secret. 

Sicheng hadn’t personally gave Johnny any details but he wasn’t stupid. He could put two and two together. 

“Guess i’m just charming or something.” 

The rest of class, Johnny paid as much attention as he could. He did the work, thinking about possibly reasons Sicheng and Taeil knew each other when Mr. Nakamoto was talking. 

Maybe the two went to highschool together or something? No. Sicheng moved to Korea at 18. Maybe they were drinking buddies, besides the fact that Sicheng wasn’t a drinker. Okay, maybe they had a fling at one point? Which could also easily be ruled out. All relationships Sicheng had, Johnny knew about. He didn’t have flings, besides this ‘thing’ with their professor. 

Class ended, Sicheng and Johnny got lunch together then went on their ways. Sicheng had mentioned something about “having a little fun” which Johnny took as code for “going to hang with Mr. Nakamoto” and Johnny realized there was nothing to do. 

He didn’t really have friends, besides Sicheng, Taeil, Ten and Mark. All were probably doing something at least semi-important or in another region/country which left Johnny to himself. 

He laid on his couch, pulling a blanket over himself and turning so his body was facing the TV. A kids show was playing, one Johnny had seen a few times but not enough to know the characters or plot. Still, he watched it until his eyes fell closed and breathing evened out. 

He awoke later that day around 7:45, 15 minutes until Taeil started at the cafe. It wasn’t that far a drive and Ten lived about 10 away so Johnny texted the boy that he was on the way and grabbed his keys. He was still slightly tired, post nap exhaustion evident in his body. But with a few stretches, blinking and eye rubs he was walking to the elevator in his apartment complex and getting in his car gifted from his parents. 

Johnny picked up Ten, drove to the cafe and ordered coffee and small meal for him and Ten to share. Shortly into Taeils performance, the waiter brought by a plate of french toast, eggs, spinach and grapes by along with another plate of half rice half curry. 

“Oof.” Is all Ten said before diving in. Johnny found himself smiling widely. The younger seemed to always have a way for the action to make its way into Johnny’s pretty face. Johnny watched Ten for a few more moments, younger boy either oblivious to the set of eyes trained on him or either too indulged in the food to pay attention. “If you keep staring at me, you’re not going to have any food.” Ten looked up at Johnny with a closed lip smile, eyes twinkling as he handed the boy across from him a spoon of his own. The American gladly took it and starting eating the rice. 

For some reason unknown to Johnny, he couldn’t focus of Taeil today. He was known to lose his focus when it came to things like school and adulting, but with Taeil he was always focused and engaged in whatever he sung that day. Possibly, Johnny was still tired and out of it, or too busy eating the food. 

Or too busy talking to Ten and laughing with him. 

Taeil was close to ending now. The two plates Ten and Johnny had shared were clean and gone as the workers grabbed them earlier. 

“This is my last song tonight,” Taeil began, taking a gulp from his water bottle before continuing. “But before I sing, there’s this festival in the city this weekend. I’m going to be performing there and it’s a big opportunity for me so I hope to see some of you guys there. Onto the song.” 

Taeil strung a few opening chords then began singing. 

Ten was scrolling through his phone and Johnnys had died, so now he kept his eyes on the way Taeils fingers moved across the neck of the guitar. He remembers those same fingers playing in his brown hair, twisting and twirling strands together before making their way down onto his face. He remembers how soft and soothing they had felt and wishes he could feel that again.

“Hey, Ten,” The grey haired boy lifted his head, Johnny turning his to look at the stranger now standing in front his table. Well, he wasn’t really a stranger now that Johnny looks at him. It’s Taeyong, Taeils boyfriend who Johnny had yet to meet. 

He was prettier up close and suddenly Johnny feels insecure. 

“Taeyong, hey!” Ten stands and pulls the slim boy in a hug while Johnny sits there awkwardly, preoccupying himself with the sleeve of his flannel. “This is Johnny, don’t know if you two met before. He’s a friend of Taeils.” Johnny glares at Ten. Mentioning how him and Taeil were connected was completely unnecessary especially when it was information for his boyfriend. But he puts on a smile for Taeyong. He had to seem nice for some odd reason. 

Johnny felt like a teenage boyfriend trying to impress his girlfriends parents. 

Taeyong turns and looks at Johnny, stupid perfect smile placed onto his pink lips. Johnny erases the thoughts thinking about how Taeils lips have been placed on the exact ones he was looking at currently and looks into Taeyongs eyes. They reflected happiness. Ew.

“Hey,” Johnny greets, pulling his lips into a smile and hoping it didn’t look too forced. Taeyong replies with a chirpier version of the greeting. 

“Do you guys mind if I sit?” Johnnys eyes look towards the extra chair in front Taeyong, praying that Ten would say something to get rid of him. He hadn’t exactly told Ten that he didn’t necessarily like Taeyong, but from the tone he always used when speaking of him Johnny expected Ten to at least take a hint. The Thai boy was bad at taking hints. Which is the main reason why he tells Taeyong to take a seat with the most welcoming smile on his face. 

“Are you going to the festival this weekend?” Taeyong directs to Ten, legs crossed and hands placed atop his knees. Even the way he sat was annoying.  
“Haven’t really thought about it. If he goes then i’ll go with.” Ten points to Johnny, taking a sip from his green tea latte. He peered up at Johnny through his glasses, mischievous glint in his eyes and smirk on his lips around the black straw. Johnny wanted to slap him so hard his grey hair would turn black. 

Taeyong turns his head towards Johnny, smile on his face and head tilted. “So?”

“I--um, sure.”

 

A couple days later, Johnny and Ten are sitting on a bench outside in cold weather, waiting for Taeil to come on stage. They hold french fries and hot chocolates in their hand, a usually bad combo but today it works. 

“I don’t even know why i’m here.” Johnny speaks over the current artist, dipping another fry into ketchup and forcing it into his mouth. Ten scoffs from in front him, pulling his coat closer to himself. 

“You’re here to support a friend, with a friend and you had nothing better to do.” He sips from his hot chocolate, slightly giggling when Johnny rolls his eyes. “Come on, it’s not even that bad. We look good and we’re having fun, right?”

Ten begged that him and Johnny wore matching outfits. He hated the idea at first but agreed to it after Ten started getting annoying. They both wore black jeans with rips on the knees, Ten wearing a white sweatshirt and Johnny wearing a black one, brown trench coats and black loafers. Honestly, they did look pretty cute. 

“Our next performer goes by the name Taeil. We asked him what does he expect to win from this performance, he said ‘maybe a record deal and some recognition’. When asked where does he get his inspiration of music from, he said ‘his lover and life’,” Johnny couldn’t help but wonder which lover. “And when we asked him who his favorite artist is, Taeil said ‘Daniel Caesar for sure.’,” That’s something Johnny and Taeil had in common. 

“Please welcome, Taeil!” 

The short boy walked onto the stage, guitar around his neck and smile on his face. He waved, eyes scanning the crowd and stopping at a place in front the stage. Probably where Taeyong sat. 

He started singing a Sam Smith song that Johnny heard but didn’t know the name. Like usual it was beautiful. 

After the show, Ten led Johnny to the side of the stage where they greeted Taeil, cuddled into Taeyongs side. Taeil mentioned how Jaehyun, same guy who threw the New Years party, was throwing another party. He gave them the address and that’s how Johnny ended up at a party he didn’t want to be at with a beer in his left hand and cellphone in his right. Why did he always let Ten drag him into things. 

His back was against the wall, head tilted to the side and lips pulled into a line. This was maybe his 3rd or 4th bottle of beer and Johnny was starting to feel it. 

As soon as he stepped foot in the door, he had lost Ten. Taeyong and Taeil were a few feet away from him, laughing and dancing together. Being the perfect couple. Double ew. 

Johnny’s phone vibrated, encouraging him to leave Twitter and go to his messages. 

**10/10**  
where are you?  
9:45PM

 **Tall Bitch**  
living room, i think?  
9:45PM

A few seconds later, Ten was walking up to Johnny with a goofy smile on his lips. He held a soda can in his hand, tilting it up at Johnny once he was in speaking distance. 

“You seem gloomy,” Ten leaned his shoulder against the wall, turning to face Johnny. “Why don’t you dance or something?” 

Johnny shrugged. He hadn’t really given having fun a chance. He wasn’t in the mood for it. “Not feeling it, I guess.” 

“Oh come on! You aren’t feeling it because you haven’t tried!” Johnny didn’t say anything. Ten sighed and grabbed Johnny’s phone, tucking it in one of the many pockets of his own cardigan. “Come, come, we’re going to dance together.” 

Johnny didn’t even try protesting as Ten gripped his arm, pulling him out into the crowd. He allows Ten to drag him a few couples away from Taeyong and Taeil, eyes wandering over to them as Ten starts getting lost in the music. Johnny watches the way Taeil dances on Taeyong, the smile on both their faces and the love in their eyes. He wishes that were him and Taeil instead. 

“Oh my god, Johnny!” Ten yells out, turning Johnnys head with his hand so he’s now focused on Ten instead. Ten moves closer, standing on his toes and placing his lips to Johnnys ear. “Focus on me, okay? Not Taeil, not Taeyong, not the dude doing O’s with his vape pen. Just me.” 

Ten moves back, smiling softly and looking at Johnny to make sure he understands. Once Johnny nods, Ten starts dancing again and at first, Johnny doesn’t know how to move with him. He just bounces to the music sorta awkwardly until Ten moves closer and presses his back against Johnnys chest. 

Johnny stills, breath hitching. He hadn’t really ever thought of Ten in a way that involves ‘sensual club dancing’. But this is friendly, right? Friends dance together at a party and that’s exactly what’s happening now. 

Johnny convinces himself this and chugs the rest of the beer in his bottle, allowing it to fall to the rug under them without second thought. It was a safety hazard, yes, but everything happening right now could be considered a safety hazard in certain eyes. 

Ten sways to the music, hands raising above his head and playing with Johnnys hair. He was really in need of a haircut and was planning to do so soon but the way it feels to have Tens fingers in his hair makes him second guess the thought. Tens fingers feel just as good, maybe even better than Taeils. 

They dance, and laugh and have the time of their lives that night. Johnny doesn’t even remember seeing the couple previously taking up all his thoughts the rest of the night. The last thing he remembers is him and Ten going back to his apartment and cuddling until they both fall asleep. A great ending to a long and exhausting day. 

 

Taeil calls Johnny the next morning around 8, awakening both men asleep in the king sized bed. 

“Hello?” Johnny groans. Ten shuffles from beside him, eyes opening and small smile rising onto his face when his own dark orbs meet Johnnys. 

“Can you come over?” Johnnys a little taken back that Taeil doesn’t greet him or even ask if he had just awkonen. Just straight to the point. 

“I—“ He looks over at Ten, at the bed, the clock on his wall that read 8:09 and pulls the phone away from his ear. 

“For what?”

Taeil huffs. “I just need company. Taeyong is working until late again and I’m going to be all alone today.” Johnny hears Ten scoff from beside him and resists the urge to giggle. 

“Sorry but I’m a little busy today. Classes and stuff.” Johnny hears a sigh from the other end followed by silence. “And I’m not really in the mood to be there for you just for  
company.”

“Oh, well. Okay. Bye.” Taeil sounded a little butthurt but for some odd reason, Johnny doesn’t really care. He throws his phone down onto the nightstand, rolls over and pulls Ten back into his arms. 

The younger giggles, turning around to face the older American. “Thought you have classes or something?”

Johnny shrugs and places the cutest smile on his face. “I do, but they’re in the afternoon.”

They cuddle for the rest of the morning until Johnny has to leave for class and Ten has work. Throughout the lecture, Johnny thinks about how he finally said ‘no’ to Taeil after being hopelessly whipped for god knows how long. It felt good. 

 

Saying ‘no’ felt good, but this probably felt way better. 

Taeil on all fours, back arched, head hung low and Johnnys name slipping from his lips like a mantra. 

Johnny was doing so well. He was getting out of the trance Taeil had him under and all it took was one SnapChat and Johnny was knocking at his door. Could he never completely get over Taeil? After the cozy morning he had with Ten, his who-knows-what, he’s now back to square one. All over again. 

This cycle goes on for a while; Johnny having the best time with Ten doing small things then going back to Taeil like a stray puppy. He knew it was wrong, but not speaking about it somehow made it okay. So, all three of them let it happen and pretended everything was okay. 

Up until Johnny hit his breaking point. 

He sat at a bar with Taeil, both dressed in their nicest shirts and jeans (Taeils were a lot nicer than Johnnys but no ones judging). Both sipped on cocktails and made small talk. 

For some reason currently unknown, the atmosphere between the two was tense and uncomfortable. Johnny couldn’t seem to get as relaxed with Taeil as he had previously done. He’d been spending previous nights with Ten as the Thai had made himself extremely comfortable in Johnnys apartment, spending days in a row at the small but nice place. Now, as the brunette sits with the singer, he seems to struggle talking with him. 

Johnny doesn’t even remember what they were talking about before he lets the question slip past his chapped lips. 

“What is this—this thing between us?” Johnny sips from his straw, toying with the pink umbrella in the glass. 

Taeil stops drinking from his own glass, setting it down onto the bar and switching the way his legs rested over the other. He runs a hand through his disheveled black hair and things for a second, eyes focused on the ceiling. 

“Friends with benefits, I guess? No one has ever asked me such a question.” He bitterly laughs but Johnny can’t find a laughter in himself. 

“What if I don’t wanna be friends with benefits?” 

“Then we call this whole things off.”

“What if I don’t want that either?”

Taeil sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Well then what the hell do you want, Johnny?”

This time, Johnny takes his time to formulate an answer. Truly taking the question to heart and trying to answer as truthfully as possible. 

“I want us … me and you to be a thing. Something more than friends with benefits.”

Taeil laughs. Not the cute laughs he did when something was funny, not the bitter laugh he did earlier. But a laugh as if he was mocking Johnny. It stung. Bad. 

“Johnny. You and I both know that’s impossible.” Taeil gulps from his cocktail and sighs in content. Why is he so cool about this whole ordeal when Johnny is literally sweating bullets and holding back tears? 

“I’m dedicated to Taeyong and only a billionaire would motivate me to leaving him.” Johnny scoffs and wipes a tear that fell from his left eye. 

“That’s not such a dedicated thing to say.” Taeil hums and shrugs. 

“Not any of your business either, is it?”

Okay, Johnny’s had enough. He pulls up a wad of cash, not bothering to count it and lays it on the bar. Chugging the remaining contents of his drink that now taste too sour, Johnny says one final goodbye to Taeil and leaves. Not before wishing him a good future because Johnny was raised right. 

 

That night, Johnny cries himself to sleep in Tens arms. 

 

It’s October now. Leaves fallen to the ground, weather getting colder. The cafe where Taeil used to perform has pulled out its fairy lights and microphone stand, signifying the time of the year where artists would go in and sing. 

Taeil hadn’t been there for a while as he was picked up by a record deal but left considering the terrible treatment he was receiving. Although it wasn’t his fault, Taeil feels as if he deserved it in a way. 

With his hand placed securely in the hand of Taeyong, Taeil opens the door to the cafe, memories flooding in his mind. He smiles softly, walking to the register to order a drink. The current artist plays a few opening chords on a piano, speaking over the tune softly to announce the song. 

“This next one is called ‘We find love’. It’s an original, written from real experiences.” He clears his throat and begins,

_You don’t love me anymore,_  
Let’s see how you like this song  
See you walking out the door,  
Wondering why it took you so long __

__Taeyong leads Taeil to a seat and the older follows without glancing to the stage, eyes to glued to his phone._ _

_____Ever since the day that I met you_  
I knew you were the guy of my dreams  
But we could never be __

____Whoever this artist was, he had good vocals and was a pretty good songwriter. The lyrics were kinda gloomy though._ _ _ _

_________We find love, we get up_  
Then we fall down, we give up  
We find love, we get up  
Then we fall down, we get up __

______“Hey, babe?” Taeyong calls out._ _ _ _ _ _

_____________You don’t love me anymore,_  
Let’s see how you like this song  
You need someone you adore  
Find a place where you might belong 

________“Hm?” Taeil sips from his coffee cup._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________Every since the day that I met you_  
My world been spinning out of control  
I just need you to hold  
We knew it’d come around  
That thing called love comes crashing down, ah  
Pieces all on the ground,  
What once was lost could not be found 

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“He looks familiar, no?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Heaven help us,  
Heaven help us,  
We’re on our own__

____________Taeil finally lifts his head and he wishes he never did. There, on the same stage Taeil was on a year ago, sat Johnny Seo in front a white baby grand singing his big heart out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________His eyebrows creased, hair falling in front his face but being flipped away once he finished that verse. As he looked at the ceiling, Taeil saw a glint under his eyes. Johnny was crying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The first time Taeil sees Johnny in months, he’s doing the same action he did the last time he’d seen him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Johnny repeats the chorus and plays a few last chords, letting the last one linger before his fingers leave the keys and the crowd claps, Taeil and Taeyong included._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Thank you.” His voice sounds exactly the same. The same velvety smooth and warm voice that Taeil used to hear all the time. He can’t believe he took Johnny for granted._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“That song means a lot to me and I’m glad I got to close off with it tonight. Thanks again guys.” Johnny leaves the stage and Taeil debates walking up to him and congratulating, speaking, anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________But he pushes that thought to the back of his head when a familiar short grey haired boy approaches Johnny and plants his lips on Johnny’s own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Taeil stands and throws his cup away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He had his chance with Johnny and threw it all away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> edit as of november 18, 2018: im thinking of doing a second chapter from taeils pov maybe even tens. i think tens would be real interesting. let me know what y’all think


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